“What is love?” he asked her with a glint of anger in his eyes and a touch of sadness in his voice.
“Love…”she answered slowly and with confidence, “…lasts.”
“And what is that supposed to mean?’ he snarled, no longer attempting to disguise his anger.
She smiled sweetly, choosing to ignore his anger. She knew, of course, that it was really sadness. She did not know why he was sad, but she knew that he was sad. She felt it. She felt his sadness like an anchor in her heart.
Finally, after much thought, she answered him, “What that means is that love, true love, is Unconditional. Unconditional love lasts even though you may not understand, even though you may not agree, and even though you may feel differently. Unconditional love lasts, through all the fear, through all the sorrow, and through all the anger. Unconditional love lasts because it is unconditional. One does not have to want it or even earn it, or desire it. Unconditional love is free.”
“Ha,” he smirked. ”Now I really don’t understand you. I have never received anything for free—NEVER.” He yelled the final never.
“Are you sure?” she questioned him.
He tried to lash out at her again, but he made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Well maybe it was not a mistake. Maybe it was a blessing. Yes, that was it. He looked into her eyes and he received a blessing. It was a blessing of love. This love had no judgment, no restraint, and no limitation.
When he looked into her eyes, the love he felt made him completely forget his anger and his pain. His fear was gone and so were all the walls that his fear had created.
He felt naked, vulnerable, open and alive. He closed his eyes, just for a moment he thought, so that he could drink in the feeling and allow it to enter every atom of his body. But when he broke contact with her gaze, he lost it all—all the love—all the acceptance—all the forgiveness—GONE!
Gone from his experience, but not from his memory.
He tried to be angry, but the memory of that love soothed him like a tender touch. He tried to be afraid, but the memory of that love protected him like his walls of fear once had.
He tried to doubt the experience, to judge it, criticize it, but for once in his life, his heart was louder than this mind,
His mind tried to doubt, but his heart reassured.
His mind tried to question, but his heart understood.
His mind tried to forget, but his heat remembered.
His mind tried to race ahead, but his heart was calm.
From his heart he asked, ”Why did the feeling go when I closed my eyes?”
She would not answer that question. She put her arms around his neck and laid her head against his heart. She melted into him, forgave, him, accepted him—unconditionally.
And then he was awake. Or maybe he was really asleep and that woman, that angel, was real.
“Huh”, his mind said. “Get up its time to go to work. You have important things to do, important people to meet. These people will bring you recognition, fame, and money. Forget that dream. It’s a distraction.”
He was awake now and he forgot the memory in his heart and listened instead to the logic of his mind. That silly dream had made him late. He had to rush through his shower, throw on his expensive three-piece suit, grab a cup of coffee and shave in the car.
He went through his day in a flurry of activity.
Deals were made, moneys were earned, and contracts were signed.
He was important.
He was successful.
He was rich,
and he was ALONE.
He went through all of his important meetings—alone.
He had a romantic dinner with a beautiful woman—alone.
Later he had passionate sex with her—alone,
and fell asleep wrapped in her arms—alone.
At 4:00 AM he crawled from her bed and put on his expensive suit, left her penthouse like a thief in the night, got into his BMW and drove to the ocean. He did not know why, but he had to go to the ocean. He was remembering something, something in his heart.
He parked the car just before the first light of dawn. He took off his Italian shoes and his tailored suit and silk shirt. He grabbed a swimsuit that he kept in the trunk and ran onto the beach. He didn’t stop until he had immersed himself in the ocean.
Then he lay on the cold sand and felt it cover his wet skin and get into his hair. He looked up into the sky. It was pale gray and misty. The sun was barely lighting the sky.
He was alone. But wait. Was He?
There was a feeling, yes a feeling, he had had just yesterday, or was it a lifetime ago. What was it? It was a feeling he had in his heart, a memory, a desire. He desired something that he could not achieve, or win or buy. He desired a memory that was lost, lost in a lifetime of anger, sadness and fear.
Yes he, Mr. Strong, Mr. Smart, Mr. Rich, was afraid.
He knew now that he was afraid. He felt it.
Was that the feeling? Was that the memory?
Depressed and desolate, he dragged himself to his car.
He had left the keys in the ignition.
He did not care. It was only a thing.
He sat his wet and sandy body heavily on the leather seat.
He did not care. It was only a thing.
He slammed the car door so hard that it rattled the windows.
He did not care.
He cared for NOTHING,
except…there was the feeling, the memory.
A memory of someone—a woman—NO, an angel.
Where was she?
Who was she?
He sighed and reached for the ignition. It seemed to take all his strength to turn the key and put the car into reverse.
“Oh great,” he muttered to himself, “I knocked the rearview window out of position.” He reached up to move it when he realized that not one time in his busy day or busy evening had he looked, really looked, into a mirror.
Not one time had he looked at himself.
The light was still dim and it took a few moments for his eyes to focus on what he saw.
Then, with a gasp and a shot of recognition, he saw the eyes—
Then he remembered the feeling, the feeling of unconditional love.
It was a long moment before he regained his reason.
It was a long moment before he realized that the eyes he looked into were actually his own.
But inside his eyes was a glint.
He was not alone!
“I am with you always,” she said inside his heart.
“WE ARE ONE!”