TIME FRAME 1983-1986
By 1983 I had finished most of my course work, and I was writing my dissertation. I had also begun to see clients. I found that the emotional instincts of the second chakra were quite different from the psychic energy of the third chakra.
My experience is that the psychic energy of the second chakra is very instinctive, personal, and based on survival. On the other hand, the psychic energy of the third chakra is more mental and interpersonal. Therefore, the third chakra governs both the power of your own self-awareness and the power in relationships that can result from self-awareness. In other words, if you have power over your own feelings and thoughts, then you will be able to maintain your personal power within your relationships. If you have not found your own power, you will find yourself in power struggles with others so that you can-unconsciously prove to yourself that you are powerful.
With the Kundalini now in my third chakra, I was forming relationships in which I had a great deal of power to influence others. One of the first lessons I had to learn was that people really listened to me. Hence, I had to be “conscious” of that power.
This was definitely a time of accomplishments, ego development, self control, and will power. It was also a time, more than any other, when I was defining my self and standing up for my freedom to be that “self” that I had discovered.
My mind was taking in new information almost faster than I could absorb it. Interestingly, I found myself drawn to the Oriental spiritual path. I studied with a Tai Chi teacher every week, and I also went to weekly meditations with a Taoist teacher. Both of these disciplines focused on slowing down the mind. Tai Chi was especially difficult for me. My teacher kept saying, “Slower, slower, match your mind with the pace of your movement.”
Moving VERY slowly and connecting my mind to each movement was extremely difficult for me. My meditations were also forcing me to remain still in my body to find the stillness of my mind. This stillness allowed me to create a pathway through the oceans of the Emotional Plane and connect with the Mental plane in the higher fourth dimension. Concurrently, this allowed me to navigate my emotions in my outer world and gain a greater mastery over my mind.
My career life and spiritual life were starting to merge. One of my mentors, who was teaching me hypnosis, also taught me automatic writing. This was not automatic writing where another being entered my body, but instead it was a way to get “out of my own way” and communicate in writing, with the world inside of myself. The first person I heard from was my inner child, which I titled, “A Child’s Adventure in Faerie.”
I found that when I wrote my inner guidance, whether it be from a higher dimensional being or a higher dimensional component of myself, I could get more details and clarity. The writing also assisted me in grounding the information in my everyday world.
First I would receive it, then I would re-read it, edit it, expand upon it. Then, gradually, the communications turned into stories, poems, and eventually books. But that was later.
My professional world was busy, yet completely fulfilling. This time I had no hidden agenda regarding my graduate school and my conscious and unconscious mind were in complete agreement. I was being challenged every minute and loving it. I knew that I was following my destiny. This knowledge was soon to be tested.
My mind was great, but my body, as usual, had to take the brunt of my stress. I was working four days a week, finishing my Ph.D., was married and had two teenage kids, and my third chakra was giving me every symptom of chronic stress.
My digestion was disturbed, and my stomach often was upset and it felt like I was starting to get an ulcer. There was a constant uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexus that didn’t go away until I finished school. Then it left. Yes, Kundalini was definitely in my third chakra.
FINAL INITIATION FOR THE THIRD CHAKRA
My final initiation for this chakra was the sum-total of all I had learned since Lady Kundalini had entered it. It was time to get my license and there was a mishap with my records in the state. If I didn’t sit for the exam that time, they were changing the laws and I would have to go back to school to take more classes, which was NOT an option.
Therefore, I had to study without knowing whether or not I could take the test. Meanwhile, I was working full time, raising teenagers and haggling with the licensing board about my records.
I had to keep calm or I would not be able to concentrate on my studies. Therefore, I had to use all that I had learned. I had to shift from the “will mode” of: “I will do this” to allowing mode of: “All I can do, is all I can do.” Just like the sensations of my body were concentrate on the area between the third and fourth chakra, my initiation was to leave behind the will mode of the third chakra and move into the heart mode of allowing my life to unfold.
I meditated, did my Tai Chi, and yoga, and worked only three days a week. Then I got too “busy” and stopped with my stress maintenance. It all came to a head when I fell apart in a class, in front of the entire class, and bashed my car into a post after I hysterically tried to leave the parking structure.
Wait a minute. Is this familiar? Have I done this before? When was the last time I had car accidents and was terrified about the outcome of my “final” test? Yes, life is a pass-fail system. Since I had made such a mess of my MA I had to “do it again” and get my Ph.D.
The accident got my attention. Five hundred dollars later, I realized that stress maintenance techniques only work if you do them! Well, my mind, and intellect worked. I passed all my exams and began yet another new life.
Oh, but what about my husband and kids who had been waiting for me to finish school so that they could get more of my attention? That was the lesson of my heart chakra. But I had moved through my lessons of the third chakra, and I stood upon the THIRD STEP TO SOUL.
THE THIRD STEP TO SOUL
She stepped onto the third step to Soul and looked into the crystal atop the pillar. Inside it she saw the face of a lotus flower shinning upon her. She gazed into the flower so deeply that her consciousness fell into the crystal and she was pulled into the water beneath the lotus.
As she adjusted her vision, she saw that the lotus was far above her floating contentedly upon the surface of the water. She reached for the lotus, but it aloofly floated beyond her reach. She tried to swim to it, but her feet were stuck in the mud.
She must wait. It had to come to her. She tried to clear her mind so that no negative thinking would repel it, but thoughts of doom circled her mind like a shark in murky waters. Impatience and a growing fear weighed heavily upon her and forced her deeper and deeper into the mud.
She must learn to be patient. She must learn to calm her thoughts and wait in peace. “The road to illumination is paved with patience,” spoke a voice from deep inside. But, time agitated her and space limited her.
Old thoughts trapped her mind and ancient emotions kept the water about her churned and muddy. If only she could find Peace ~ peace of mind and peace of heart. Then she could wait.
What was she waiting for? She did not know the answer, but the question brought her hope. Was she waiting for reunion? Yes, reunion with her Self.
She knew she must allow her feet to root themselves into the earth and wait. Wait for the stem of the lotus with an open heart and quiet mind.
As she held this new thought in her mind, something like peace began to settle in her heart. She looked up to the surface of the water and saw that the lotus that was once floating freely was slowly beginning to lower its roots.
Her first instinct was to try to escape the mud beneath her and scramble to the surface to grab frantically at whatever she could reach. But something inside her whispered quietly to remain patient and hold the peace. To wait ~wait with a welcoming heart and calm mind.
She settled in. She allowed herself the patience to not know how long it would take. She noticed that the mud felt warm and comforting between her toes. She realized that the water that held her down also kept her light and buoyant. Slowly, she moved her arms in an undulating fashion and felt the sensate pleasure of the water moving across her skin.
Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all. Maybe the wait could actually be pleasant if she were willing to accept “what is” instead of constantly searching for “what might be”. If she could feel the NOW, than maybe she could hold the hope of tomorrow and free the pain of yesterday.
Yes, to experience the NOW to the fullest. If she could do that, there would be NO wait. There would be NO past memories or future worries.
There would only be ~ the NOW.