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SITE MAP/ MEDITATION AND SONG PLAYERS
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TIME FRAME 1983-1986By 1983 I had finished most of my course work, and I was writing my dissertation. I had also begun to see clients. I found that the emotional instincts of the second chakra were quite different from the psychic energy of the third chakra. My experience is that the psychic energy of the second chakra is very instinctive, personal, and based on survival. On the other hand, the psychic energy of the third chakra is more mental and interpersonal. Therefore, the third chakra governs both the power of your own self-awareness and the power in relationships that can result from self-awareness. In other words, if you have power over your own feelings and thoughts, then you will be able to maintain your personal power within your relationships. If you have not found your own power, you will find yourself in power struggles with others so that you can-unconsciously prove to yourself that you are powerful. With the Kundalini now in my third chakra, I was forming relationships in which I had a great deal of power to influence others. One of the first lessons I had to learn was that people really listened to me. Hence, I had to be "conscious" of that power. This was definitely a time of
accomplishments, ego development, self control, and will power. It was also a
time, more than any other, when I was defining my self and standing up for my
freedom to be that "self" that I had discovered.
My mind was taking in new information almost
faster than I could absorb it. Interestingly, I found myself drawn to the
Oriental spiritual path. I studied with a Tai Chi teacher every week, and I also
went to weekly meditations with a Taoist teacher. Both of these disciplines
focused on slowing down the mind. Tai Chi was especially difficult for me. My
teacher kept saying, "Slower, slower, match your mind with the pace of your
movement." Moving VERY slowly and connecting my mind to
each movement was extremely difficult for me. My meditations were also forcing
me to remain still in my body to find the stillness of my mind. This stillness
allowed me to create a pathway through the oceans of the Emotional Plane and
connect with the Mental plane in the higher fourth dimension. Concurrently, this
allowed me to navigate my emotions in my outer world and gain a greater mastery
over my mind.
My career life and spiritual life were
starting to merge. One of my mentors, who was teaching me hypnosis, also taught
me automatic writing. This was not automatic writing where another being entered
my body, but instead it was a way to get "out of my own way" and communicate in
writing, with the world inside of myself. The first person I heard from was my
inner child, which I titled, “A Child’s Adventure in Faerie.” I found that when I wrote my inner guidance,
whether it be from a higher dimensional being or a higher dimensional component
of myself, I could get more details and clarity. The writing also assisted me in
grounding the information in my everyday world. First I would receive it, then I would
re-read it, edit it, expand upon it. Then, gradually, the communications turned
into stories, poems, and eventually books. But that was later. My professional world was busy, yet
completely fulfilling. This time I had no hidden agenda regarding my graduate
school and my conscious and unconscious mind were in complete agreement. I was
being challenged every minute and loving it. I knew that I was following my
destiny. This knowledge was soon to be tested.
My mind was great, but my body, as usual, had
to take the brunt of my stress. I was working four days a week, finishing my
Ph.D., was married and had two teenage kids, and my third chakra was giving me
every symptom of chronic stress. My digestion was disturbed, and my stomach
often was upset and it felt like I was starting to get an ulcer. There was a
constant uncomfortable feeling in my solar plexus that didn't go away until I
finished school. Then it left. Yes, Kundalini was definitely in my third chakra.
My final initiation for this chakra was the
sum-total of all I had learned since Lady Kundalini had entered it. It was time
to get my license and there was a mishap with my records in the state. If I
didn't sit for the exam that time, they were changing the laws and I would have
to go back to school to take more classes, which was NOT an option. Therefore, I had to study without knowing
whether or not I could take the test. Meanwhile, I was working full time,
raising teenagers and haggling with the licensing board about my records. I had to keep calm or I would not be able to
concentrate on my studies. Therefore, I had to use all that I had learned. I had
to shift from the "will mode" of: "I will do this" to allowing mode of: "All I
can do, is all I can do." Just like the sensations of my body were concentrate
on the area between the third and fourth chakra, my initiation was to leave
behind the will mode of the third chakra and move into the heart mode of
allowing my life to unfold. I meditated, did my Tai Chi, and yoga, and
worked only three days a week. Then I got too "busy" and stopped with my stress
maintenance. It all came to a head when I fell apart in a class, in front of the
entire class, and bashed my car into a post after I hysterically tried to leave
the parking structure. Wait a minute. Is this familiar? Have I done
this before? When was the last time I had car accidents and was terrified about
the outcome of my "final" test? Yes, life is a pass-fail system. Since I had
made such a mess of my MA I had to "do it again" and get my Ph.D. The accident got my attention. Five hundred
dollars later, I realized that stress maintenance techniques only work if you do
them! Well, my mind, and intellect worked. I passed all my exams and began yet
another new life. Oh, but what about my husband and kids who
had been waiting for me to finish school so that they could get more of my
attention? That was the lesson of my heart chakra. But I had moved through my
lessons of the third chakra, and I stood upon the THIRD STEP TO SOUL.
THE THIRD STEP TO SOUL She stepped onto the third
step to Soul and looked into the crystal atop the pillar. Inside it she saw the
face of a lotus flower shinning upon her. She gazed into the flower so deeply
that her consciousness fell into the crystal and she was pulled into the water
beneath the lotus. As she adjusted her vision, she saw that the
lotus was far above her floating contentedly upon the surface of the water. She
reached for the lotus, but it aloofly floated beyond her reach. She tried to
swim to it, but her feet were stuck in the mud. She must wait. It had to come to her. She
tried to clear her mind so that no negative thinking would repel it, but
thoughts of doom circled her mind like a shark in murky waters. Impatience and a
growing fear weighed heavily upon her and forced her deeper and deeper into the
mud. She must learn to be patient. She must learn
to calm her thoughts and wait in peace. “The road to illumination is paved with
patience,” spoke a voice from deep inside. But, time agitated her and space
limited her. Old thoughts trapped her mind and ancient
emotions kept the water about her churned and muddy. If only she could find
Peace ~ peace of mind and peace of heart. Then she could wait. What was she waiting for? She did not know
the answer, but the question brought her hope. Was she waiting for reunion? Yes,
reunion with her Self. She knew she must allow her feet to root
themselves into the earth and wait. Wait for the stem of the lotus with an open
heart and quiet mind. As she held this new thought in her mind,
something like peace began to settle in her heart. She looked up to the surface
of the water and saw that the lotus that was once floating freely was slowly
beginning to lower its roots. Her first instinct was to try to escape the
mud beneath her and scramble to the surface to grab frantically at whatever she
could reach. But something inside her whispered quietly to remain patient and
hold the peace. To wait ~wait with a welcoming heart and calm mind. She settled in. She allowed herself the
patience to not know how long it would take. She noticed that the mud felt warm
and comforting between her toes. She realized that the water that held her down
also kept her light and buoyant. Slowly, she moved her arms in an undulating
fashion and felt the sensate pleasure of the water moving across her skin.
Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Maybe the
wait could actually be pleasant if she were willing to accept “what is” instead
of constantly searching for “what might be”. If she could feel the NOW, than
maybe she could hold the hope of tomorrow and free the pain of yesterday.
Yes, to experience the NOW to the fullest. If
she could do that, there would be NO wait. There would be NO past memories or
future worries. There would only be ~ the NOW.
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